Sorry not sorry.

Why do you apologize all the time?”  My husband asked me this when I apologized the other day.

Hmmm….I wondered and started paying attention.

Yep.  He was right.  I do over-apologize.

The other day I was at the grocery store.  When the cashier began to ring up the bulk items I had selected, she noticed the labels didn’t have bar codes on them.  While I took the time to weigh and label each item, the bar code didn’t print and she couldn’t ring them up.

Immediately, I felt like I should apologize.  And, I almost did.  I had to force myself not to.  Isn’t that crazy?

"Saying sorry too much is a common problem (especially among women). However, over apologizing all the time could mean you’re essentially saying sorry for your existence. Over time this not only undermines your self-worth but also your capacity to manifest an abundant life." - Katherine Hurst

As I was in line waiting for another store employee to go look up the codes I found myself needing to resist the need to apologize.  I kept thinking, “Don’t apologize, don’t you dare apologize.  You don’t need to own this.”

As we were waiting for the young man to return, I looked back at the line that was starting to get longer and longer.  Once again, I felt like I needed to apologize.  I felt like I was responsible for it taking longer to ring up my purchases.

Many women do this too, I noticed.  We often apologize unnecessarily.

Do you apologize too much, too?  Do you apologize for things that you shouldn’t or needn’t ?

Don’t misunderstand me, apologizing is a good thing when it’s warranted.

However, I think girls are often raised to be nice, to share, to not make trouble, to be polite and to think of others.  While these are good qualities to have, I believe there needs to be a balance and we need a better narrative for girls (ourselves included.)

Next time you find yourself needing to apologize, I encourage you to be curious. Is it really necessary?  Or is it a fall back.

Sorry not sorry is sexy.
Adrienne

PS:  I’d love to hear from you.  Have you noticed the you apologize too much?  If so, have you found it uncomfortable to stop or try not to?

PPS: I did it again!  Before finishing this post, I apologized to a company for making a mistake on my order.  Ugh!  I felt bad because they had to redo their work.  So I apologized!  Instead of saying, “I’m sorry you have to redo your work.”, I should have said.  “Thank you for making it right.”  See the difference there?